Communication between the two sexes has since time immemorial been fraught with misunderstandings. Although in recent times we have had many more methods of communicating than previously, conflict between men and women seems to be escalating.
There are two areas where men and women have a radically different approach to communicating:
1# Women generally talk about their emotions more easily
2# Men usually communicate in a more direct manner
When it comes to our emotions, it usually stems from the way we were brought up. Girls are typically socialized to be conversant in emotions whereas this seldom happens with boys.
The ‘man up’ or ‘shake it off’ attitude is rampant in many cultures in an effort to build ‘strong’, resilient boys and men. This is reinforced over and over again, making it difficult for men to discuss their emotions as they get older.
Grown men are sometimes shamed for letting their emotions out, even in relationships that would greatly benefit from more emotional openness and transparency.
Complicating the issue is that although women want their men to be open and vulnerable, they would like to see these same men as strong and invincible.
Men need to first of all be aware of their emotions before they are able to share them. A strong relationship of trust with their partners makes this easier. Sometimes therapy is necessary to facilitate mature communication between couples.
Secondly, women often communicate what they want to say indirectly. Traditionally they have been taught to be ‘nice’ and not ask for things, so they do it in roundabout ways.
For example, women often drop hints instead of making direct requests. A woman may say that her friend told her about a very nice restaurant hoping that her partner will deduce that she wants him to take her there. Because he is not tuned in to that particular way of approaching things, her words may fall on deaf ears.
Men can solve this kind of conundrum by asking their partners more questions. In this way, the couple can explore each other’s needs better.
Both these factors require that men and women each listen more intently, not only to what their partner is trying to say, but also to what they may not be saying.
When genuine caring is the bedrock of your relationship, you will be motivated to make the effort to iron out these common differences. Your partner is sure to appreciate your sincere efforts in getting to know and understand them.
© 2019 Marilyn Welch. All rights reserved.
Owner of Perfect Strangers
Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, many of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, often within a very few short months. Would you love to meet your soulmate? If you fit our niche market and feel that you would like to work with me, register today.