When on a first date you do not want to repel your new beaux. Here are 3 conversation topics to steer away from:
1# Do not question your partner about friends or colleagues of the opposite sex
Other people will come up naturally in your conversation. You do not want to probe your new date about the details of their relationships with these people too early. If he/she implies that they once had a lot of contact, you may be tempted to “grill” them and make them feel uncomfortable. Allow your beaux to elaborate when he/she is ready to talk about them (preferably a few dates down the line). Let the past be the past and do not let it destroy a potentially bright future.
2# Avoid talking about marriage and wanting to have children too early in a relationship
It can be a deal breaker for a guy or even a woman if they know too soon that you have a deadline and the end date is near. Your new date will start feeling pressurised way before they even have a chance to get to know and like you. On a first date it is best to say something like you can see yourself getting married and wanting children down the road and leave it at that for the time being. If they bring up the topic first, share honestly but briefly. Be careful of appearing too needy – it’s a red flag for most people. (Best is to actually BE independent and not want anything too badly. Then you can be yourself and at ease when the topic comes up again at a later stage.)
3# Do not start talking about your ex too soon
If you speak with high regard about your ex, your date may think you are not over them and that they may have to compete with this person.
If you do not speak well of your ex, again your date may think you are not yet over them and they may start thinking you may speak poorly of them as well down the line.
Do not discuss in detail why your previous relationship did not last. On a first date it is enough to say that you outgrew one another and wanted different things. Do not make a big deal out of it.
An innocent conversation can easily turn into a situation you do not want. By avoiding these kinds of conversations when you first start dating someone, you give that person a chance to get to know, like and trust you. Only once this kind of rapport has been established will your relationship be strong enough to weather the more challenging aspects of life that will invariably come up.
It’s like building a house. No matter how fancy your building plan, you start with the foundations first and only then do you move on to the finer details like, for example, the Jacuzzi you have wanted for so long.
© 2020 Marilyn Welch. All rights reserved
Owner of Perfect Strangers
Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, many of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, often within a very few short months. Would you love to meet your soulmate? If you fit our niche market and feel that you would like to work with me, register today.