Read what The New York Times has to say about listening and put this to good use when dating:
“We are encouraged to listen to our hearts, our inner voices and our guts, but rarely are we encouraged to listen carefully and purposefully to other people. Instead, we talk over one another at cocktail parties, work meetings and even family dinners. Online and in person, it’s all about defining yourself, shaping the narrative and staying on message.
And yet, listening can be more valuable than speaking. Wars have been fought, fortunes lost and friendships wrecked for lack of listening. It is only by listening that we engage, understand empathize, cooperate and develop as human beings. It is fundamental to any successful relationship – personal, professional and political.”
Of course, we think a lot faster than people talk. This makes it tempting for our minds to wander whilst someone else is talking. Smart people in particular can easily be distracted by their own galloping thoughts. This makes it easy to assume that one already knows what the other person is about to say …
When you listen attentively to what someone else is saying (and also to what they are NOT saying), this makes it a lot more likely that this person will listen to YOU. When you really listen to someone, it vastly improves your chances of communicating something that will RESONATE with them.
Listening is a SKILL. Some people have a natural flair for it whilst others need to work at it, but it is something we can ALL do well with practice. Devoted listening will help you to understand the attitudes and motivations driving the people in your life. It will help you build cooperative and productive relationships as well as discern which relationships you’d be better off avoiding.
Develop the skill of listening, especially when online, over and above merely judging people by their photos. You will assemble a much more complete picture of the person in question. This will be of invaluable assistance when assessing whether you actually want to meet a prospective date or not.
Listen with your whole body, in particular to the ENERGIES the other person is emitting. This can be done on the telephone as well as when you are meeting someone in person. Listen not only to the words you hear, but the tone they are spoken with, as well as the pauses between words and sentences and the way words are grouped together.
I wish you luck in applying these guidelines.
Practice makes perfect!
©2020 Marilyn Welch. All rights reserved.
Owner of Perfect Strangers
Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, many of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, often within a very few short months. Would you love to meet your soulmate? If you fit our niche market and feel that you would like to work with me, register today.