Sometimes we learn too late in life what really works when it comes to dating and relationships. Mostly we learn the hard way. I have seen, heard and written about many different approaches to romance over the last 24 years and would like to share some of these to make it all easier for you.
1# You can’t assume someone knows you appreciate them
This is something that needs to be verbalised, not only occasionally but as often as you can. Many people are starved of love and appreciation and you can almost always be sure your words will fall on welcoming ears. Make sure your behaviour is congruent with what you say!
2# Sometimes you have to choose happiness over being right
Choose your battles carefully. Sometimes your need to be right will compromise your partner’s happiness. You are a team. When one of you loses, you both lose. Think carefully before you take a stand which may leave your loved one unhappy.
3# Date what someone presents to you, not their potential
Do not create high expectations that the other person never agreed to. You’ll end up resenting them and only have yourself to thank.
4# You can’t make someone love you
Love is something you cannot force and one cannot control who one loves. If your partner falls out of love with you or prefers someone else, rather let them leave. It’s far more hurtful to spend a lifetime trying to convince someone to love you.
5# Love is a choice, not a feeling
This is why although feelings come and go, some people stay in their relationships for decades. They choose to keep on loving, no matter how tough things may become. When you stop making the choice for love is when things fall apart.
6# Continue dating yourself in the relationship
Schedule lots of time to be by yourself and do the things that bring you joy. When you stop dating yourself and give all your love to your partner is when you stop being the person they fell in love with.
7# A relationship is something you contribute to every day
A relationship doesn’t stop when you go exclusive or when you get married. It is an ongoing journey which needs your inputs every single day. Positive inputs over an extended time augur well for a happy outcome.
8# Love won’t look like it does in the movies
Tears, being mean to each other and breaking someone’s heart make for a great movie, but in real life these kinds of things do not lead to healthy relationships. Avoid the drama and be sensible and kind-hearted.
9# Don’t compare your relationship to other people’s
Get off social media and away from cookie cutter posts of others’ relationships. Everyone is different. Focus on your own relationship and the many wonderful aspects it brings, rather than look at what you don’t have and live in regret. Build your own life out with your partner and be your own persons.
I wish you a heart-warming relationship that will bring you happiness for many years to come!
© 2021 Marilyn Welch. All rights reserved.
Owner of Perfect Strangers
Marilyn Welch is the owner of Perfect Strangers Introduction Society for Professionals and in the last year, many of the clients who joined Perfect Strangers met someone special, often within a very few short months. Would you love to meet your soulmate? If you fit our niche market and feel that you would like to work with me, register today.